Did I deserve this?

You assured me you were mine forever

You promised me the stars

Guaranteed me only happiness

In the end it’s a broken heart that I got

How could you?

Why did you?

Questions swirl in my mind

No answers forthcoming

My life was just fin e before you come

I dint have goose bumps but it was ok

Dint know what exhilaration was

But I never minded

Does it bother me one bit?

No it doesn’t

Am fine, see

No traces of blood in my body

I dint ask you to promise

Hell’ I even asked you not to

But you won’t listen

You were consumed by love you said

If it razed you down

I can’t really tell

No ashes to sprinkle

All memories condensed into one big ball in my heart

All I do now is to interrogate myself

What if we never met?

What if I were a better man?

What if u never left?

And am back where I started

No answers; just questions begetting questions

You looked me straight in the eyes and lied

But it does not bother me

Am a very strong man, see?

I got huge muscles that men fear and women look in awe

Am an Olympic boxing champion for heaven’s sake

I can’t cry

Who am I kidding?

The heart knows no muscles

Heartache respects no champions

And I ask myself, did I deserve this

Mzee Varaq

(My poems)