Friday, 24 February 2012

Laana yangu




Wadhani wanitambua
Hauning’amui hata

Waamini tabasamu hafifu ichezayo mdomoni
Huoni gubi la simanzi ilyofunikwa

Wahusudu mavazi yangu yanayonisitiri
Huoni vidonda vilivyofichwa ndani

Ukiona marafiki zangu wanavyojibeba kana kwamba dunia ni uridhi waliyopewa
Wadhani maisha yangu ni bahali shwari

Uonacho ni ngozi inayong’aa kwa kulishwa mafuta ya mikato
Hauelewi ati ngozi huo umodhoofika ndani

Mkwanja wangu ndio wewe waona
Hauelewi ukware wangu haukunipa hela tu- sonene pia niliongezewa

Hauamini rijali wa miraba minnne na umbo tisti kaanguswa na nyondenyonde
Ugonjwa huu haubagui

Waganguzi na waganga wameongea
Ugonjwa huu hausikii

Usihusudu maisha yangu
Tangu lini mzima akatamani uredi?

Mzee Varaq
My poems

Monday, 13 February 2012

my beef with the brain


Sometimes the human brain decides to throw certain pranks at us in a bid to show who‘s the boss. It is the highest degree of betrayal when your short term memory goes haywire. I have recently noticed that I have one of the most selective memories among the descendants of Adam. By selective let me make it clear that I don’t mean retarded or defective- I mean that it just chooses what it wants to store based on some system that it’s yet to let me in on despite my best attempts to crack the codes. There are certain times it decides to temporarily hide certain files especially when I need them only to return them into the database when the need has been completely overtaken by events.
There is this incidence the other day that left me in fits of rage. I know this sounds weird coz how does one get mad at the brain? It’s like getting mad at the eyes or the legs. But believe me when I say I have never been madder my entire life. Oooh and that include when my primary school head teacher asked me to consume a whole sufuria of nyoyo after being caught doubling. If you don’t know what doubling is then I guess my reputation can still be salvaged.
Just the other day spent about thirty minutes trying to locate my phone. I looked in every crook and nook-don’t ask me what they mean. All I heard from Mummy’s (My High school English teacher) long explanation is that they should be used in the same sentence with look. After turning beds upside down and checking under the bed a brilliantly idea hit me-why don’t I just flash it! So I took my phone to call my phone and it’s only then that I realized that whatever I had been sweating about had been in my hands all this while! And that is not all, by the time I got the phone I couldn’t even remember what is it that that I wanted to do with the gadget.
Have you ever started to update your facebook status and you suddenly realize that you have just forgotten what it is that you wanted to post?  Well if you have, take consolation that you are not alone. It simply means that you have far important components permanently occupying their brain cells such that the fringe knowledge has to compete for space among each other for the paltry 1% of the brain still available.
Maybe I should walk around with pen and paper to record everything significant or just take solace in the fact ‘if you forgot it then it’s probably not that important”. Better yet, I should forget that am forgetting and be happy with the facts that I can remember. Maybe mzee Varaq is just getting old!



Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Am I just paranoid?




You have grown cold and distant
Smiles today are like a necessary ritual
Texts infrequent like tsunamis
Or am just paranoid?

In my company your phone is ever off
It tags along even to the conveniences
A strong password barrier erected to keep off intruders when it’s left
Or am just paranoid?

You are gay all the time; no rough days at the office it seems
Your matrimonial house has grown deadening
Getting out of the enclosure is all you purpose
Or am I just paranoid?

The mirror is your new screen of choice
Your grooming increasingly pompous
New fragrances complement your exotic fibres
Or am I just paranoid?

Should I ask her?
Why? So that she can lie to my face?
So that she can manipulate and toy around with my intoxicated mind?
Why? So that she can confirm my paranoia?

No! I shan’t give you that privilege
The writing is on the wall
I shan’t overstay my welcome
I’ll just walk away with my paranoia

Robert Varaq
(My poems)

Monday, 23 January 2012

When school was school



The world has undoubtedly registered huge leaps and advancements not only in the development of basic infrastructure and industries but also technology wise. I remember during those days when owning a cell phone catapulted you to celebrity status and of course one could only marvel at such gadgetry. The story is not the same today, cell phones are almost a basic necessity and I wouldn’t be surprised if the era of disposable communication gadgets rears its head soon. Children have never been this spoilt for entertainment choice; from computer games to audiovisual sources.
These confirm what I have always suspected -am growing old. We didn’t need the internet or TVs to keep us entertained. One was just happy to be in school. If someone stepped on your toes or ratted on you, you didn’t take immediate action but “preserved” him for the closing day where a real duel was to be organized. And believe me when I say the fighters were really motivated. Losing wasn’t an option coz one become the subject of ridicule which only ceased when he redeemed himself in the next fight. If these bouts taught us anything it was to choose our opponents wisely and winning at all costs, lessons that has been really valuable so far.
I should probably not mention the disk part. If your memory serves you correctly you’ll know am not talking about that circular plate we used to serve nyoyo. This was some objects usually unpleasant or with a pungent smell that serious offenders were ordered to carry around to act as deterrent to some boys who might have been thinking of pissing the gods. Noise making and of course mother tongue speaking guaranteed you this honor. Friends and foe alike would trick each other just to make sure the punishment afterwards did not befall them alone. After all nobody likes to die alone. Rumors heard it that some schools used dead cow horns. Grotesque, you might say. 
Even though I caught just a few years of the Nyayo free milk era I still count myself lucky to have been in school during those days that important men went to school. Everything was in limited measures be it books, the milk themselves and most valuable of all-lockers. This was a precious commodity that if you missed you would most likely find yourself in hard logs improvised to keep off the mountain of dust.
Did I mention that ten bob was enough to buy some fair-weather friends at least while it lasted. These were some hard mandazis that were prepared using maize flour. In my school we called them ‘akuon akuon’ .They were so delicious that most friendships were made or broken at this stands. One piece made sure you were indebted and gave the giver a license to any class football team, talent notwithstanding.
School was not this rosy-it wasn’t just about making fighters using clay or eating ‘akuon akuon’. Equally synonymous with school was tears. The teachers believed that truancy could only be gotten rid of by viboko. Inflicting pain they thought guaranteed them reverence. If they were to be feared then the big boys and the prefects were to be dodged at all costs. To be in lower primary was a sin. I remember picking leaves and sweeping every morning under the tightest of supervisions .I wouldn’t talk about the cost of failure in exams because am sure you remember that only too well. There was of course the forbidden topic of girls so I won’t talk about it lest my class teacher hear about it .the letters were intercepted with so much finesse that if the government could just harness this potential maybe ,just maybe al shabaab would have been history.
The silver lining is that however hard life pushed us, we pushed back. However tough the masters were we found away to make ‘gettas’. For those who didn’t go to real schools, gettas were those inner clothing, books that one wore to reduce the pain inflicted on the butt. That we wiped our tears and played football obviously showed our resilience. Am I the only one who is nostalgic about the good primary days, the perseverance, the raw optimism, the unwavering belief that if he can, so can we?
Of course am not saying that we solve all our difference at the boxing arena, to be clear lest Kibunja and co label me a warmonger.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

My case for the disgraced deputy CJ


Our television networks having realized that controversy sells have not stopped analyzing the infamous village market incident where the deputy CJ allegedly brandished a gun and harassed a female guard at the shopping mall. They have not just overplayed the incident but also raised the passion of Kenyans by asking questions such as,”was Nancy Baraza right to brandish a gun, or pinch Kerubo (the guard’s name) in the face?” Kenyans have also caught the cue with social media awash with humorous illustrations of the event. My favorite is the picture of the deputy CJ taking the place of Jack Bauer in the hit series 24.
Well, it is not difficult to catch the reason behind the excitement. The deputy chief justice had gotten the job on the platform of change, increased efficiency and adherence to the rule of law. Kenyans had expected a break from the past excesses of the powers that be and with the passing of the new constitution there was indeed real optimism that the dragon of impunity had been slayed for all. The mere manner in which she ascended into office was a real break from the past where cronies were rewarded signaled a new era in Kenya’s judicial dispensation.
But I believe that the media and my fellow Kenyans have got it wrong on this one .wait, am no apologist for Baraza. I am a believer inhuman dignity and respect for all irrespective of social and economic standing .I just do believe that the lynch mob that is baying for her blood are not driven by a honest desire to see justice prevail but by a malicious zeal to see her fall. Kenya’s activists have been largely responsible for the democratic space and freedom that we enjoy in this country and they deserve every ounce of respect. But I feel that they are fast losing the plot. Some in their mistaken belief that they are acting on the interests of mwananchi have taken tough positions on issues that don’t warrant such hard stances. Some use this opportunities to endure themselves to the electorate in readiness for their still born political ambitions.
There are procedures for vetting an errant judge. If we value the law so much then we should also wait for her to behavior to be termed unbecoming by an impartial and objective tribunal and not through the inflamed passions of the public court of opinion. If we are crusaders for human rights as we purport then we ought to realize that part of that is also respecting that a person is innocent until proven guilty. Part of that is accepting that as much as we are qualified judges as to whether food is salty or not, to determine requires a seasoned judge who looks at things not from a moral or religious prism but from a basis of what the law says. Then and only truly then can we pride ourselves of being custodians of the law.
This saga might prolong for sometime but believe you me, it will go away. Then what? The warmongers will simply go to the next victim. They will like a vulture patiently wait for some big shot to slip up and then hound him up like vultures upon a carcass. They see us merely as stooges to their means end. So the next time you have a strong position on something just ask yourself if it really is warranted.
 Unless of course we ni mutu ya Gor Srikal-they are the only ones allowed to stone and cause dismay without a worry in the world.