Guest Post: A girl that reads books

Today the Jack of all Trades is honoured to host a man of no mean repute. He is a guy who has taught me a lot in life and giving him this platform to entertain you gives me so much pleasure.  He is a man who intrigues and makes you want to know more. He is the kind of guy you go to when you want to know why the Egyptians built the pyramids or if Osama is really dead.

He will tell you about Syria and Israel, about the cold war and the Hehe Rebellion, about the state of the Pyongyang economy and still find time to tell you about how Arsenal are gonna lift a trophy this season. I heard you said the FA cup is just a cup. 

When you reach the 1000th word, you are likely to ask me, just like the guests at that wedding in Galilee did ask the host, “Why did you wait till we got drunk before bringing the sweeter wine?”

See, I can quote several verses of the Bible. Today is however not about me, it’s about my cousin Jojo. Sorry, he wants to appear professional so well call him John.

Ladies and gentlemen without much further ado I present to you………………..

A girl that reads books 

19:30Hrs , Nakumatt  Lifestyle, Kenya ; East Africa

I throw another glance at the pair. I love the clatter they make as I climb the stairs to the book section. I’m referring to my brown Italian shoes. Authentic is what the salesman called them. I could see that in every thread that brought the parts together.  I am finally there. looking at the books but not knowing which author would intrigue me most. Then I notice her. 

She has short hair that get nothing other than regular comb and trim. However, on a second thought, I think she does something else to her hair because they do not look like mine. They are healthier.

From what I can see from her back, she has an average African body size. Nothing that would make any man turn or get a wild scolding from his significant other because of diverted attention. That’s not what this is about. It is about the books section that interests her and the book she is holding. She is in the biographies section. 

Few Kenyans read, goes the general opinion. They say that during the post-election violence, no bookshops were raided and looted and that adds to the proof that we do not read. It may be true. However, I argue that even if most Kenyans read books, the bookshops would not be looted because people who read books do not do looting.  Simply put, if you read books, you will not be usurped into the popular culture propelled by media and we would be set free from political manipulations. 

Back to her: She is simple. Flat shoes, decent skirt, and a cardigan that I cannot describe by its color. Most of the colors I know are there. She does not have earphones on her ears so she is mature; no offense. She twitches her feet showing that she is feeling the book in her hand, so it is hers not her fathers or boyfriend. Aha she reads. ..

About the twitching, there is this guy called Jacob from way back when we were young. He has all the theory about girls although nobody has ever seen him talk to a girl. Jack’s thesis is that if she gently twitches, you have full attention. 

Back to her: the book she is holding has a guy with a thick mustache. A mustache that makes the guy look like a pedophile or a child molester (not my opinion, borrowed from Orange is the New Black). It’s a book about Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili, for those who just read motivational books and do not expand their knowledge he is Joseph Stalin. For the sake of those who just watch American movies and do not get the real facts, he influenced the global politics after the Second World War. He is a great man in his measures. 

Going for a date with her would be interesting. I know that now. I make bold strides toward her garnering all the confidence that I need to suppress my anxiety and fear. She would be an interesting person to know and she is one of her kind. I haven’t seen her face yet but I do this. That is called first impression. 

I’m John…

 I would have said, Hi I am John. But these are different times they require different approaches.

Ok John….She responds

Im stunned. She looks like Chidima, the musician. By my standards, heaven knows, she is pretty.

How do I respond to Ok John…How?  I’m off the game. This is the time someone should call me then I move away to re strategize.   

I collect myself and call out in a shaky voice..That is a good read. 

She looks at me oddly and stay mum…you love your work. She says after an awkward silence. She could tell her look shook me. However, her words, which were meant to comfort, sunk me deeper. She thought I was a Nakumatt book attendant. 

How do I pick from here…I scratch my head. All the confidence I gathered from my Italian shoes evaporates.

19:30Hrs , Donholm, Kenya ; East Africa

I am with Linda, the lady from Nakumatt. Yes, I turned things around. It was easy, she is different I can say and I am good maybe. She is seated right across me. We are having a hearty conversation. It is easier to have a conversation with a lady who has a wide scope of understanding because there is a lot you can say. It is like watching an Arsenal match. There is always something to everything. It is just captivating. 

I crack a joke, she laughs. It was a dry joke..Mhh…does she like me? As I am still wandering in my mind to get my response. I am disappointed when  she says “ by the way..that reminds me of ..” That means that she is not laughing at my joke, she is laughing at what the joke reminds her. 

We talk about politics, not the referendum and kusema na kutenda type, politics with manifesto and ideologies. We talk about history, then local current affairs but still not local politics. 

It’s the way she speaks that interests me. Her diction and pronunciation of English is different. She communicates more than she says. Her opinion speaks a lot about who she is. She is an independent thinker. Not the type that has to say it and you start thinking of when she even used her brain.  You can get that she is an independent thinker by her reasoning. 

 We are talking about why people use abbreviations in texts. I criticize the younger generation for using abbreviations unnecessarily even in events when abbreviating means using more characters. Anybody would side with me on this. She argues differently. She feels communication is more than just saying the words. It is about expression of the mood at the time. “ For instance” she says, “when  I text poa and pouwa, I say the same thing but with a different meaning, same to sasa and xaxah.” Mhh..so you can learn something while on date with a girl from Nairobi ( I would have said Nairobian girl, but the word makes me sound shallow, talk of words with more than one meaning). 

There is much to say about the date other than her…the venue, what she ate, who else was there, what she wore, and much more. However, when you are in date with a girl that read real books, she is all you notice. To bachelors, the church is infested by fakes leaving minority good ones…if you are still looking for the wife, look in the bookshops before they get there.