The girl I met

There is this girl I know

She has a glow that can blow

No flaw in her flow

She’s a piece of art

I saw her and gave her ma heart

She’s still holding ma proposal like a fart

The girl I know is skeptical

She says my reputation precedes me

She thinks am Lucifer reincarnated

She thinks I see her as a trophy

To be used for my morning coffee

Yet all I want is to lick her like toffee

I can’t wait for me to be hired

Yet she can’t wait for me to get tired

She’s afraid she might get fired

Even though I tell her am deft

She’s afraid our liaison can lead to her and Romeo’s cleft

And leave her bereft

Masaibu ya ndugu matolo

My last two pieces have been about lessons learned from 2012.I would have gone on and on but my calendar just hard to interfere and remind me that its February already, the month of love, the shortest month in a year (that’s good news I guess for Gucci who opened school yesterday and is already thinking of the next holidays).In this month too my team, the vultures head to the East African games in Dar to remind the world that we are Kenyan champions for a reason. The only dark lining is Matolo’s misfortunes.

matolo poses with a mzungu

Now in case you are not aware, Matolo is the vice captain of the team. Where he comes from, Bungoma or BG as he fondly referred to it is very far from the coast where alien languages like Kiswahili are spoken. Matolo doesn’t date out of his tribe, he says it’s to preserve the quality seeds but everybody knows just how communication, especially seduction in a different language can be difficult especially if u you wish to assure the Shiro of MT Kenya just how many acres of maize you have under your belt. Your guess is as good as mine, who cares? sorry, Naliaka cares.

matolo,center,enjoys his bike

But that’s not the reason why we fear for our brother Matolo. As part of the travel requirements we had to get a pass. Now, the officer there ,out of malice I must add, started asking Matolo ,

“Rijali,waende nchini Tanzania kwa hafla ya kibiashara au kujubugiza katika lindi la anga faridi na maji bahari au kujipoteza katika lindi la anasa na vidosho wakware?”

I don’t really remember what Matolo said but it must have been something like poa before promptly dashing to the conveniences.

The good thing is that Matolo is a fast learner and he can now proudly say that

‘bahari tuko nayo kule mwambao wa pwani pia,kwa hivyo kuleta kikombe ndiyo inipelekayo mimi huko ng’ambo”

 By kikombe he doesn’t mean mug but trophy.

matolo's super shoes

Am sure after his stint in Dar, he’ll know the difference between chuo ,idara and kitovi which am sure most of you are simply blank about. It may even go a long way in helping him date the yellow chicks from pwani he’s been really ranting about.

We are having a hard time assuring Matolo that ugali and sima are one and the same thing. However, as things stand, we are losing that battle. So I guess he will just have to cross the border with his maize flour, coil and the standard Matolo sufuria just to be sure. After all, our stomachs are our only age mates.